There are some things in life so grotesquely excessive that you are forced to feel nothing but respect for them. The Mansory Zapico is one such thing, and although it is irrelevant to what it specifically is, it wears the name Mansory, which should be plenty enough. Haven’t heard of it? Yea, neither had I. Why, because you and I are much too poor.
Mansory is most notably a name, a name which requires an invitation to know. Those who know, are in the know, and also happen to have their mattresses stuffed with diamonds and sleep between pure gold fiber sheets. The same juices that power the global economy also pump through their veins. They sweat saffron and eat only caviar with truffles. You get the idea – made of money to the point of not being able to hide it, and so they celebrate their every breath in the most ostentatious way known to the natural world! But that’s just jealous ramblings! The Mansory Zapico is a motorcycle.
Not 30 miles from the Czech Republic, the Mansory Cooperation is located in the little town of Brand, in Bavaria Germany, where it customizes super and hyper cars for the beyond-rich. They also build office furniture. What? Cars and furniture? Yea, that surprised me too. In 1989 Kourosh Mansory opened the doors to welcome the likes of Aston Martin, Bentley, Ferrari, Porsche and Rolls Royce. Recently, the company wanted to dabble in customizations of the two wheeled kind.
They started with a 124 ci (cubic inch) V-twin S&S engine producing 160hp. I think this to be a silly choice, but what do I know? No word on the frame, but it’s probably aluminum, along with the known-to-be aluminum gas tank. It does however have carbon ceramic brake rotors, adding a bit of “special” to the bike. Then they decided to cover everything in carbon fiber (CF). For those who might not know, carbon fiber is a nick name for pure carbon strands which are set in an epoxy to make a shape. It is super light, and exceedingly strong, and therefore, is used wherever people can afford to use it. The little body work that is on the bike is exclusively made of THE CF and in my opinion, looks horrendous because there is much too much of it, everywhere. The entire bike is still a pig, weighing in around 748 lbs, so all that CF and aluminum doesn’t do it any good, but it has a fairly respectable, claimed 0-60mph time of 3.3 seconds.
So, that begs the question, given the opportunity, would I want to verify that 0-60 claim? Well, I’d be risking enslavement to some Bavarian engineering maniac for accidentally scuffing his greatest creation’s body work by simply touching it, and heaven forbid, lay it down, so, HELL NO! You know how those perfectionist Germans get… I must say, for all the preposterous hoopla, you’d have to be slightly off your rocker to buy such a disaster.
I mean really, CF is so overdone these days. Anything above budget is CF, and even though it is the most expensive commercially available product for the job, it is still commercially available. Why don’t they go the Zonda way with some innovative Carbotonium (CF + Titanium). That’s a bit more exclusive, isn’t it?
Maybe I’m just jaded because I’d never be able to afford it in a million life times. Maybe I’m just stupid. There is however something to be said for the unadulterated exclusivity the Mansory name demands. They take a Bugatti Veyron and say: “Nope, not good enough”, and then change its looks and add performance. That’s just bonkers! These guys have balls that clang. Yea, I know, the Veyron is only a VW, but it is still the fastest production car currently in existence, and the same holy hands that make it faster, also build the Zapico.
But really? A cruiser? I would have expected a company that plays with hyper-royal cars to go after building a super fast motorcycle, something to steal the attention away from Bimota or Vyrus. Nope, they want to compete with the chopper/custom bike crowd – a bunch of fat guys with motor-head chops who ask too much money for inferior machinery. I just don’t get it. I’m even willing to say I don’t see the point.
The Zapico should be put in the Louvre under the display “Misunderstood Markets” as a cultural commentary piece of art. Regardless of what I think however, I’m sure some rich sap with little taste will purchase the darn thing, and probably never ride it. I think that’s the part that really disgusts me. Most of these types of vehicles are owned simply so their owners can say: “I own it”, and to no other end, wasting resources, space and oxygen.
It just goes to show, when you’re dealing with clientele so rich the governments have given up trying to extract taxes from them, all bets on “exclusivity” are off. So overall, I don’t want to give this bike any goggles, because it’s just silly in every way. Maybe that’s a bit rough, 0 out of 5 for one of the most expensive bikes in the world? Yes, harsh, but it’s not a performance bike, yet has many performance parts. It looks aggressive and mean, but I’ve seen similar lines many times so it’s not that original. Even though the carbon fiber is overdone, it isn’t original either having been done by Bimota (and they did the entire frame that way) on their 2009 DB7 Oronero.
So, it’s missed the goal, so to speak, but I must give it at least 1 goggle for its name and resulting exclusivity. By comparison, if Ducati made this, I wouldn’t award even that, because even their name isn’t quite so special. I would like to give it another half-goggle for bold, excessive use of this carbon fiber, but more importantly, its carbon ceramic brakes. Those are special. In addition, having not test ridden this motorcycle, I’m simply going off the books, and from there, it’s all show and no go. 1.5 goggles total for this one then.
http://www.mansory.com/ – their website is delivered in English, German and Russian, I guess those are the only people than can afford them. No Spaniards, Chinese or Japanese?
Tyres: Front: 130/60/18″ Rear: 280/35/18″
Brakes: Front: 3.5 x 18″ carbon disc Rear: 10 x 18″ carbon disc by Mansory
Engine: S&S T 124 V2 (spring-loaded vibration- the only one of its kind found in this mount worldwide) Capacity: 124 cubic inches (~. 2,080 cc) Power: 160 hp at 5,200 rpm Gears: 5 gears